Why Do Men And Women Cheat...

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A Man's Point of View

Author: Sandy Francis

Ever since Eve first persuaded Adam to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, men and women have been blaming each other for their sins. Men cheat on women. Women cheat on men. We blame our partners when our relationships hit the rocks.
But why do men and women cheat in the first place? What possible reasons can anyone give for having an affair, sneaking away for a weekend, or even a drunken one night stand?

Studies suggest that men and women have many and complex reasons, but there are distinct differences between the genders. When it comes to cheating on their partners, men seem to be opportunists. They take a chance, and make the decision to pursue another woman if the opportunity presents itself.

In the workplace, especially in the business world, men and women spend many hours together, and naturally flirt with each other. In an office, men wear suits, while women dress to impress. In a factory, manufacturing plant, or production line, men and women work closely together, and get to know each other whether they want to or not. On a night out, we will all notice members of the opposite sex, subconsciously or otherwise. Temptation is all around. The single factor that makes a man cross the line from looking to touching is the opportunity. And, of course, the woman.

We all know people who are now separated or divorced from what we thought was the 'perfect' relationship. Two people who, as a couple, seemed to be a match made in heaven. But then an opportunity to cheat came along, and he took it. Because he thought he could get away with it? Not really. Because his love life at home was not the best? Again, not quite. He did it because he could. It was there, available, tempting, sexy, and in his face. It meant nothing, but it also meant everything. And who was the architect of this deception? A woman!

To most men, women are complicated, sexy, dangerous, and devious. While women will claim that they do not understand what drives a man, men really have no idea whatsoever where to start with women. Emotions play a large part in women's lives, while men have more primitive urges. When a woman is unhappy in a marriage,
it could be something very simple, but is manifested in a complex way. Women seem to 'feel' far more than men do, and they think along slightly different lines.

Women have exactly the same opportunities to cheat as men do, possibly more so. The difference seems to be that women make plans to cross the line. It is a far more meaningful action. Sometimes, like for a man, it is purely about sex, but more often than not it is about the relationship itself. Many Women cheat for years, hoping that something will come out of it. Men are more like dogs. Chase a woman, catch a woman, jump on, and jump off. Women, on the whole, will cheat to prise a man away from his partner, to fill an emotional gap in her own relationship, or for her own satisfaction.

When alcohol is involved, the rules change slightly. Drink makes us all feel something other than normal. Some people get brave, some develop a cavalier attitude, some get loud and crazy, some get a little withdrawn. A few drinks mean we all lose a little common sense. But blaming alcohol for our actions is never quite enough. Drinking may allow some people to lose their inhibitions, but it slows down and inhibits our motor functions. When men are drunk, sexual performance is impaired. When a woman is drunk, her logical thought process goes out the window. She is out to prove that she is up for anything. Women who cheat will probably admit that they still love their partner, but feel he does not appreciate her, or show her the same level of attention that her lover does.
So men take the chance if it presents itself, and women feel something is missing, and look for it elsewhere.

While any deceived partner is rightly outraged, before reaching for the phone to call the nearest divorce lawyer, they should consider where any fault truly lies. It takes two people to create a bad marriage or relationship. Are you currently doing enough to keep your partner loved and excited? If not, why not?

You should do all you can to keep your relationship fresh and intense. Then look at your partner. What will you lose if you cheat? Is it really worth it?

Remember that in order for your partner to have an affair, there must be someone of the opposite sex ready, willing and available to take your place. This means that you have an attractive spouse, but it also means you need to work hard to keep that spouse happy and focused on your own relationship.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/why-women-and-men-i... the Author: Sandy Francis is a retired sportsman who now dedicates his time to his original vocation of writing. His latest website at http://www.dubbletake.110mb.com features articles and solutions on health, fitness, diet and wellbeing.

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Kim asked me to give my professional view of this article; I imagine this article may evoke a negative reaction in many readers, as it did with me. The implication of this article written by a male without credentials in relationships seems to be: If a man has an affair, it's the woman's fault, and if a woman has an affair, it's the woman's fault. As a relationship counselor, I can tell you that both sexes have affairs instead of addressing whatever issues there are in the relationship. For women, an affair is usually, but not always, a yearning for an emotional connection they are not getting in their marriage. Men more often have affairs for the thrill, whether it's the thrill of feeling infatuated again or the high of sex. Affairs can also be a sign of sex addiction which has absolutely nothing to do with the spouse.

Whatever the reason people have affairs, the cheater is always the one who is responsible. The wounded spouse is never responsible for the affair, no matter how horrible their own behavior may be in the marriage (they are, however, responsible for their own behavior). Nor is the other woman or other man responsible for causing someone to cheat. It's true; I am increasingly surprised and shocked by the number of women who have casual, meaningless one night stands and affairs with married men. Those women would do well to consider the pain they may cause and take a long look at their own behavior. However, a loyal spouse will take whatever measures needed to protect their marriage, and not stray even if seduced.

For the cheater, no matter how bad their relationship is, it gives them no right to go outside of their relationship. The only healthy response is to make every effort to repair the relationship. If it can't be repaired, then the healthy thing to do is to leave the relationship, freeing both of you to find someone else to love.