RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Curiosity Doesn't Kill...the Relationship

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it will give long, peaceful life to your relationship. At the Relational Life Institute, we say “Make points of contention become points of curiosity.” When your partner or anyone is upset with you, instead of responding with defensiveness or disagreement as typically occurs, respond with curiosity. Ask questions like, “What was upsetting to you? What did I say? What did I do? What did it trigger for you?” Becoming aware of the impact of your behavior on others means living consciously. The whole idea is to help you understand what you can do to prevent your partner or friend from feeling that pain again. Not only is it the loving thing to do, it’s the peaceful thing to do. Feelings are validated instead of attacked. When situations are approached this way, potential arguments become healings instead. So next time, someone is upset with you, be interested--be curious.

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