Is There Love After Hair Loss?

[Susan Beausang]

There’s looking for love in all the wrong places, and then there’s looking for (and keeping) love with all the wrong head wear.  Can a bald woman find, or better yet, be the recipient of romantic love?  Therese wants to know, and I suspect there are a whole lot of other women with the same painful question.

Therese developed alopecia after tying the knot with her husband.  Therese initially wore wigs, but found they were not right for her.  She swapped her wigs for fashionable head scarves.  Sadly, Therese’s husband confessed to her that it was when she stopped wearing her wigs that he officially lost interest.  Her confidence shaken, facing life as a bald and now single woman, and embarking on a new job all at once temporarily drove Therese back to the safety of her wigs.  Temporarily.  Therese is one of those women who despite the struggles of just being a woman without hair, is simply not comfortable hiding her condition with wigs.  As a result, Therese wonders whether she will ever find a man who accepts her as she is - bald, and not willing to hide it.

I too was married when I developed alopecia and lost my hair.  While the adjustment process certainly put stress on my marriage, Jack has stuck with me through it all.  In my case, I had a hard time with his efforts at proving to me that the hair loss didn’t matter to him.  What do you mean it doesn’t matter!?  IT MATTERS!!!!  To me, anyhow, and at that most raw emotional stage in the process, I didn’t want anyone telling me it didn’t matter.  It’s a fine line between letting a woman know you accept and love her as she is, and telling her that her appearance issues just don’t matter.  Men, take note.

What if we are openly rejected due to our hair loss?  How do we move on and find new love, love we can trust?  While I know it’s easier to write than do, I would recommend that any woman in this situation imagine swapping shoes with their partner.  Not with hair loss as the issue though, as bald men are oh-so-accepted in our society.  Think of something that would be an equivalent appearance alteration for him.  Would you still love and accept him?  If the answer is yes, then he clearly didn’t deserve you.  The good news?  He and his kind are not the only available men on the planet.  I believe, I know, that there are a lot of men out there besides my Jack who just want to be loved and to return that love.  And they’re searching for women like you.

Have your own story about searching for or finding love as a bald woman?  Therese and so many other women like Therese need to hear those stories, so please share.

Susan Beausang, 4Women.com