RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Earn Your Way Out

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

The number one reason relationships fail isn’t poor communication or growing apart or any of the other many reasons people give for the end of a relationship; it’s a lack of commitment to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. At least that’s the view from the therapist’s chair in which I sit. In today’s world where there are so many single, separated and divorced people, it’s easy to delude oneself into thinking that the grass will be greener on the side. But the commitment you made is to the person with whom you are committed. Before you decide to end a relationship, make sure to earn your way out. Earning your way out means doing everything in your power to make the relationship work and seeking professional help when needed.

Do whatever you can to create a healthy, loving, respectful union. Because it takes two people to create such a union, your relationship may still not work if your partner doesn’t do the same. But if you choose to leave the relationship, at least you will leave with certainty that you did everything possible to try to save the relationship before leaving it. You will never look back five years from now and wonder “If I only I..., it might have worked.” You will leave knowing you did all you could possibly do. The relationship will most likely end because of your partner’s failure to work on the relationship, not because of you.

Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individual and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone.

[Diana Daffner]

You are so right on about this, Amy. A relationship needs ongoing positive attention. Wedding vows are about making that commitment. Keeping the commitment alive and juicy is what defines a great relationship.
Diana Daffner
www.DianaDaffner.com
www.IntimacyRetreats.com