RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Talk About It!

Do you ever say “I don’t want to talk about it.” when your partner wants to talk about a contentious subject? Or perhaps you say “Nothing,” when asked if something is wrong. Meanwhile, internally you are troubled about something. You give the message with your actions that something is wrong (or your partner would not have noticed); however, your words convey that you're not willing to talk about it. It’s important to talk. When you don’t talk about something troubling that is related to your partner, you will just become resigned or resentful (and your partner will too because he can’t attempt to make the situation better if you won’t talk). Sometimes people don’t talk because the problem seems insurmountable, but unless you talk about it, the situation only becomes worse.

If you’ve ever heard your partner say “I don’t want to talk about it”, I highly recommend the aptly titled book, I Don't Want to Talk About It , written by my professional mentor Terry Real. In fact, it’s a ground-breaking book I recommend any woman read to help them understand more about the men they love. Reading the book has made a life-changing impact on the vast majority of male clients I counsel – one that definitely benefits the women in their lives.

Next time your partner wants to talk, talk. At the very least, name a time when you can later sit down and talk and make sure you follow through. If you are asked if something is wrong and something is bothering you, talk about it. Allow your partner to enter your world and understand what affects you – only then can problems be solved and feelings be comforted.

Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individual and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone.

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