Relationship Tip of the Week: Hope Springs Eternal
When hope is lost about a relationship getting better, the relationship slowly withers. Hopelessness is deadly to relationships. Yet when people have hope for their relationships, they tend to make efforts in the relationship and stand up for what they want. When people don’t give up easily, relationships tend to prosper.
If you find yourself feeling hopeless in your relationship, ask yourself what is causing you to lose hope. Perhaps the hopelessness has to do with something else that you’ve experienced earlier in life, such as a bad relationship of your own or someone else’s bad relationship. Perhaps it doesn’t even have to do with this relationship. If this is the case, it is important to get help in working through this issue so that you don’t sabotage your relationships. If something about your partner’s behavior is causing you to lose hope, don’t just continue to resent the behavior. Ask your partner to change it.
Far too many people stay in miserable relationships without hope for change. They simply give up and don’t make any efforts to improve the relationship. The hopelessness phase of a relationship is characterized by stagnation and resentment. Little or no efforts are made. Yet when one hopes for a better relationship, the likelihood of the success of a relationship increases. When we hope, we put energy into getting what we hope for. Do whatever you can to achieve what it is you hope will happen. Ask your partner to do the same. Have hope.
There does come a time when it is sometimes appropriate to give up hope on a particular relationship. The exception to the rule comes when you have done everything you can to make the relationship work, your partner refuses to do his part to improve the relationship, and you are still unhappy. If you find yourself in an unhealthy union that is clearly not going to change and you have done everything in your power to make it change, then it may be best to end the relationship. Still, don’t give up hope. The hope then becomes that you will find the relationship you deserve with someone else…and hope springs eternal.
Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individual and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone. Amy also facilitates relationship skills workshops.
If you find yourself feeling hopeless in your relationship, ask yourself what is causing you to lose hope. Perhaps the hopelessness has to do with something else that you’ve experienced earlier in life, such as a bad relationship of your own or someone else’s bad relationship. Perhaps it doesn’t even have to do with this relationship. If this is the case, it is important to get help in working through this issue so that you don’t sabotage your relationships. If something about your partner’s behavior is causing you to lose hope, don’t just continue to resent the behavior. Ask your partner to change it.
Far too many people stay in miserable relationships without hope for change. They simply give up and don’t make any efforts to improve the relationship. The hopelessness phase of a relationship is characterized by stagnation and resentment. Little or no efforts are made. Yet when one hopes for a better relationship, the likelihood of the success of a relationship increases. When we hope, we put energy into getting what we hope for. Do whatever you can to achieve what it is you hope will happen. Ask your partner to do the same. Have hope.
There does come a time when it is sometimes appropriate to give up hope on a particular relationship. The exception to the rule comes when you have done everything you can to make the relationship work, your partner refuses to do his part to improve the relationship, and you are still unhappy. If you find yourself in an unhealthy union that is clearly not going to change and you have done everything in your power to make it change, then it may be best to end the relationship. Still, don’t give up hope. The hope then becomes that you will find the relationship you deserve with someone else…and hope springs eternal.
Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individual and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone. Amy also facilitates relationship skills workshops.
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