How To Avoid...

Arguing About Money

Money is often the number one reported source of conflict in a marriage. During rough economic times that stress can often get worse, potentially ruining a marriage. Avoiding arguments about money is one of the best ways to foster a healthy relationship with your spouse.

According a a survey that was sponsored by Paypal, 43% of couples in the United States say that the current recession has caused more arguments in their household, mostly about household chores and the finances. As you can see, the recession has affected the country in many ways, straining thousands of relationships. Layoffs, mounting bills, and a general lack of money has created an environment in many households that is driving couples apart.

The Paypal study also found that 10% of couples report that the primary moneymaker's role in their household has changed in the last six months, mostly due to decreases in salary and job loss. The shift of power is also throwing many couples and households into an area they've never been, challenging them in new ways. Many couples find the traditional role of primary breadwinner shifting from the man of the house to the woman, challenging many ideas people have about their role and position. Many families are also finding themselves forced to make choices they wouldn't have thought necessary.

Keeping your marriage healthy and preventing it from being destroyed by the recession and tough money matters requires a lot of patience and learning important communication techniques. Working as a team and making decisions together has never been more important. Read on to learn some great techniques to improve your marriage during the recession.

Recognize differing opinions about money and budgeting. Every person has different ideas about how to handle money and what's best; the important thing is working together to reconcile both spouse's ideas. Keep in mind men usually see their ability to earn money as a basis for their self-esteem and "manhood." Don't threaten this in an argument; hurting your spouse's feelings isn't the goal.

Always set aside a time specifically for talking about household finances. Pick an area of the house where you can both sit down and won't be interrupted. Stick to the discussion and express yourself honestly.

Never use blame in a discussion about money with your spouse. This will distract both of you from the issue at hand and end up creating a large amount of resentment for both parties. Instead, talk calmly about how you feel the money should be handled. Try addressing your own overspending or money issues as well when you feel your spouse spends too much; this will help create a peaceful discussion.

A very important part of the discussion should be setting goals together. Decide together what you want to accomplish and find a way to do it together. Make a budget, or set aside a certain amount of money each month for savings.

Lastly, remember to compromise. Differing opinions is a natural part of life and shouldn't create resentment or anger toward someone you love. Working through a tough situation should be something that pulls you closer together, not sends you spirling toward divorce. Learn to work together to help create a healthy, strong relationship during this recession.

By Randal Arias

0 members like this