Is Dating Mr. Right Now...

Killing Your Chances for Mr. Right

We’ve all done it. We’re smack in the middle of a ho-hum, so-so, not going anywhere relationship. But, we don’t break up.

We stay. We go out for baked ziti every Friday night, have a sleepover every Saturday night, and continue on as though we might actually want to be with this person on a permanent basis. Except, of course, that we don’t. And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with him (or her), other than he’s just not “The One.”

Sometimes we consider the alternatives. What would happen if we broke it off? Staying home on Saturday nights for all eternity? Getting stuck at the singles table at every wedding reception for the rest of the decade? A lonely, desperate life of Jeopardy, solitary TV dinners and rescued pets?

So we stay. After all, it’s not really that bad, right? Sure he doesn’t make your toes tingle when you kiss. Sure, she’s addicted to makeover television. Sure, his friends are well, obnoxious.

But here’s what happens when you stay in a relationship you’re not meant to be in: Every Saturday night you’re spending with Mr. Right Now, is a Saturday night you’re missing with Mr. Right.

Think about it. While you’re yawning through yet another night of blah-blah togetherness, your perfect match might just be circling the block.

Why do we stay with the incumbent? Because not-exactly-perfect is a lot less scary than whatever surprise is behind door number three. Sometimes we worry that if we dump the person we’re with, no one better will ever come along. That we’ll lose the best thing that’s ever happened to us in search of the ever-elusive toe-curler who may not even exist.

Most of us believe in our hearts that there is at least one perfect match for everyone. I’m no exception: I met my perfect match the week after a three-year bland-as-white-toast relationship finally dragged itself to an end.

So think about this: If you’re looking for something amazing to come into your life, you have to make room for it. In other words, if you stuff yourself with macaroni and cheese all day, you won’t have any room to spare for lobster. Or triple-decker, cherry chocolate cheesecake.

And, in all fairness, your King of Monotony may be somebody else’s Prince Charming. All it takes is one brave step, one chance taken to snag the guy or girl of your dreams.

Just step away from the macaroni, and head out the door.

By Lisa Daily

Sarasota Dating Coach Lisa Daily is the author of STOP GETTING DUMPED! and HOW TO DATE LIKE A GROWN-UP. Lisa is the dating expert on DAYTIME TV, a nationally-syndicated morning TV show. You've also seen Lisa on E! News, Cosmopolitan and on the HITCH movie DVD starring Will Smith.

(C) Copyright 2002-2009 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.

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