Chronic Illness-Gaining Control...

When Life Feels Out of Control

A feeling of a loss of control over one’s life is a common complaint of many people with chronic illness. Physical, and sometimes sexual activity, may be curtailed. Diets may be restricted. Drug regimens may interfere with your normal routine and hinder your social life. The reaction to the feeling of powerlessness can sometimes be one that is self-destructive. Vices like cigarettes, alcohol, or illicit drugs are sometimes described as the last thing one feels in control of doing.

Instead of choosing a self-damaging means of gaining a sense of control, you may empower yourself by finding a healthy and self-fulfilling way. A key factor is recognizing that no matter what is happening outside of your control, you are always in charge of your response. A response is different from a reaction in that time is taken to evaluate the situation and give thought to your approach.

The following guidelines can help you to feel empowered in situations where you may initially feel powerless:

• Evaluate the situation thoroughly.

• Decide the aspects of the situation in which you truly lack control.

• Then accept that you can not control the uncontrollable.

• Identify any ways in which you can do something to make a difference.
If the particular situation feels completely out of your control, identify other areas of your life in which you have control.

• Don’t forget -- if nothing else, you are always in control of how you respond!

• Identify the options for approaching the situation.

• If possible, eliminate any options that have the potential to cause further stress or harm.

• Decide to take an action that will enable you to feel empowered.

Make an effort to research symptoms and possible treatments, and participating in treatment decisions. You are able to feel in charge when you have gathered the information necessary to make an informed decision. Sometimes medical recommendations are in conflict with the very things that are associated with quality of life. It may feel like trading off aspects of life you enjoy for the possibility of renewed health. The harsh potential side effects of medications may not seem worth it. How you respond to the circumstances of your illness is completely within your means. By responding with an attitude of optimism, you are able to feel empowered by making the decision to take medications that have been proven to improve health.

Another way of taking control is making personal lifestyle changes that will contribute to physical and mental health. Implement an exercise program. Make dietary improvements. Eliminate toxic behaviors such as smoking and alcohol and drug abuse. The regular practice of meditation or relaxation can prove the control you have over your mind and body by quieting intrusive thoughts and releasing tension. Adjustments in lifestyle or attitude enable you to feel a sense of control over your life. While you still aren’t able to change things beyond your influence, you can gain a feeling of self-empowerment by implementing whatever changes are within your power.

In every situation, recognize the choices available to you. Keeping some basic truths in mind can enable you to feel empowered at any time. Remember you are in charge of what you do with your body. You choose what you put into your body. You even have control over the words that come out of your mouth. Every day, you make a choice of how to spend your time. You choose the people with whom you surround yourself. Most everything in life involves a choice, which you make. The choice can either be productive or harmful. It’s up to you.

by Amy Warren, LMHC

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