How Much Responsibility...

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Should You Give Your Teen

The decision on how much responsibility to give to your teen can be confusing to parents. You want your child to enjoy being young and you want to be able to trust them to make the right decisions. There are several key factors that will help you to determine just how much responsibility you should put on their shoulders.

The first item on your agenda should be to meet with your child’s other parent. Regardless of whether you are married or divorced, both parents should be on the same page when it comes to this issue. While children of divorced parents often have two sets of rules, when it comes to responsibility, you should make certain you both carry out the same set of expectations for your child. Work to come to an agreement about what you would both like to be able to expect out of your teenager and you will find the situation will go much smoother than if you are fighting against one another.

The next thing you should do is discuss this issue with your teen. Find out exactly what their thoughts are on how much responsibility they are ready for. Some teens may feel they are responsible enough for several household chores, while others may want their top priority to be their studies. Each child is different and you will find it is always best to find out what your child’s expectations are of you, as well. For example, while your teen may want to be completely left alone on their grades and homework responsibilities, you may want to be more involved. Each of you may have to compromise a little bit, but you may come to a happy agreement where you only check in with your child monthly on any issues they may be having with their studies.

While many teens will often jump at the chance to step up to the plate and prove themselves to you, others may not want any responsibility at all. This is where you must hold firm with your decisions. You must hold your teen accountable for his or her behaviors and willingness to take on more responsibility. For example, if your teen wants to be considered responsible enough to drive a vehicle, they must prove themselves to you by running errands for you and your family. This may include picking up an item at the store or picking up younger siblings after school. If they don’t want to do your errands and help out in this area, they should not be allowed to drive at all.

Learning responsibility throughout the teenage years is only going to set your child up for a more successful life. The added responsibilities of picking up a sibling after school or doing the shopping is not going to take away from your teen’s enjoyment of life. It will simply teach them that there are certain things that must be done regardless of whether they really want to do them or not. They will learn the importance of prioritizing, as well as working together as a team. Teaching your teen responsibility is one of the most important things you can do to help them succeed in life.


By: Penny S. Harmon