Calling All Angels

How to adopt in 6 months or less.

After eight years of hoping to start a family with infertility treatments, I didn’t want to wait any longer. This is how I found my baby girl in less than 6 months.

1. Power through the paperwork. There is quite a bit of paperwork involved in adoptions. You must get background checks, financial statements, reference letters, birth certificates, educational certificates, employment verifications, home studies, and your Aunt Edna’s recipe for apple crumb cake! (Well, maybe not the recipe but a slice sure would make your meetings with the social workers a little tastier!)
In order to accomplish this task quickly and efficiently, GET ORGANIZED. Contact your home study provider and get a checklist of everything you’ll need and then systematically go down the list and check items off as you complete them. If you’re organized and willing to devote time to this endeavor daily, you could get through everything in a month to six weeks!

2. Do your homework. Research is the name of the game. No one is going to lay it all out for you and not everyone you come in contact with will be completely educated on any given subject. Learn about your state laws regarding adoption and educate yourself on the effects of drugs/alcohol/mental illness on a child’s development. You must arm yourself with knowledge so that when a situation is presented, you’ll be able to see the big picture rather than being swept up in the moment. I knew of a couple who were presented with a situation that involved cocaine abuse. Their agency told them that cocaine does not cross the placenta and therefore should not be a concern for them. Wrong! These children deserve parents who understand their special needs.

3. Be a free agent. Do not take your savings and head over to the nearest agency to make a large deposit. Most agencies have a contract that states that they have up to two or three years to find you a match. That means that if you do not receive a match, your money is tied up for a period of up to three years and you won’t be able to get that money back. There are many couples who have been sitting by the phone for 2 years waiting for “the call.”
Don’t miss opportunities because you are sitting by the phone, go out and find them! Contact everyone you know and let them know you want to adopt. You’d be amazed at how many people know someone who knows someone who is pregnant and looking into adoption. Scour the internet for forums, boards, groups, consultants, and agencies that post available situations. (Beware that you will run into scams but you can check into legitimate agencies.) Ask about payment schedules and find agencies you can send your information to for little or no cost upfront. You will only have to invest your money if there is a match.

4. Ready, set, baby! Look for situations where the baby is due soon. Many families get matched with a birth mother who is due 5 months from now. They spend that time building up their excitement, supporting and falling in love with the birth mother and unborn child only to get their hearts broken and lose a large sum of money. Finding a situation that is rapidly approaching saves time, heartache, and financial ruin. Most of these situations will allow you to provide proper support for the birth mother in the form of reimbursements. So get the nursery ready, get set, and have a baby!

5. Calling all angels. If you’re the praying type, now is the time to pray. It is out of your hands and you are now in labor - your baby is on the way! Be prepared for anything. Have your bags packed and put your job on alert. You might have to jump on a plane on a moments notice! If your baby will be born out of state, plan on being away for two weeks while the interstate paperwork gets completed. It helps to make reservations at an extended stay hotel since they tend to have a kitchen and living area. (You’ll appreciate that tip when you’re washing bottles in a normal sink and can enjoy your little darling sitting on a couch instead of a bed.) Enjoy this time with your new family, explore the area, and take lots of pictures. It’ll change your life!

Alicia is a Graphic Designer devoting a special section of her business to helping adoptive parents create their profile books to be shown to potential birth mothers. Alicia has been married to her high school sweetheart for 15 years and is the proud momma of her 10 month old baby girl, Rio.

by Alicia Weaver

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