ASK LISA-The Dating Coach...

HOW CAN I GET HIM TO CHASE ME

Dear Lisa,
I have been seeing a guy for about six months now. Shortly after we first met, he asked me to go to Miami with him to go to a modeling competition that he was in. Once we got to Miami, I found out that he didn’t have any money, so I ended up paying for everything. This guy is really a nice guy, but lately there has been a lot of inconsistency in our relationship. Whenever we go out, I always have to pay because he claims that he does not have any money.
For about the past month he has been going out of town every single weekend and when he goes, for whatever reason I don’t hear from him. When I finally talk to him he tells me that his cell phone was not working or he left it home along with his pager. One weekend, I actually caught him coming out of his house with a girl. When he saw me pull up, he ran in the house and had his cousin tell me he wasn’t in there. I am still talking to him, but I really don’t know what to do about him anymore because know I think he feels like he can do anything that he wants to me and its suppose to be okay.
It seems like I show all the feelings and he doesn’t. How can I change the relationship around and have him chasing after me?
Chasing Him

Dear Chasing,
Wow, this guy sure does do a lot of traveling for somebody who is always broke.
You’d better sit down for this one, because I’m going to give it to you straight up: Your guy is sleeping with other girls. And he’s playing you.
The reason he feels like he can do anything and it is okay is because you are allowing him to treat you that way by putting up with it. The reason you never hear from him when he’s out of town is because he’s with another girl. Really. Nobody’s cell phone just goes dead on the weekends. You say that you are the one showing all the feelings, but that isn’t really true, is it? He’s showing you his feelings on a daily basis: he doesn’t care about you and doesn’t respect you.
You are a woman, not a doormat. Dump him; you deserve much, much better. This guy doesn’t just chase girls, he chases fire trucks.
XO,
Lisa

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