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To Raise a Super Kid

It’s common knowledge that parents want the best for their kids. That’s only natural. As parents we want our children to do everything that we didn’t get to do so we strive to present them with every possible opportunity. This is fine but in doing so we must be careful that we don’t try to create a super kid.

Often parents will enroll children in many activities without really knowing whether or not it is something the child really wants to do. Sports, dancing, music lessons and martial arts are great activities to get your children involved in as long as you don’t overdo it. Some children are involved in these activities and more. There are some children that are on every local sports team or taking every imaginable dance class.

A constant flow of extracurricular activities can be highly stressful on both children and parents. Parents may believe that by providing their child with a full itinerary they will stay out of trouble. This is true to an extent but if you keep adding activities to your child’s schedule he or she may soon be too tired to do homework.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to encourage your child to participate. In fact, children need encouragement but some well-meaning parents go a bit overboard. They get carried away in their zealous desire to see their child achieve success in all areas of life. Unfortunately, they can drive their point a little too hard and children may feel the constant pressure to succeed in every endeavor. Children may feel as if they let their parents down if they made a B on their Math test or failed to hit a home run during the baseball game. The type of pressure your child may feel is too high of a price for success.

Many parents don’t realize how their actions and words can affect their children and they probably don’t realize the stress or pressure a child feels by trying to live up to the expectations of the parents. Parents need to talk to their children to find out what they really enjoy and what extracurricular activities the children want to participate in. All too often, children will participate in a sport or other activity because they know their parents want them to rather than because they enjoy it. Let your child choose. Make sure it is something he or she really wants to do then show your support in every way you can.

Give your child plenty of reassurance. Let him or her know that it’s okay to lose. Everyone wins some of the time and everyone loses. This is particularly important with sports because in today’s society we see a “win at all costs” attitude taking precedence in some cases with coaches and parents, even in little league games. Adults need to remember that it is a game and they are there to teach and mentor children, not to revel in personal glory. Winning is great but a child’s self-esteem can be irreparably damaged by the wrong comment or attitude of an adult that the child looks up to.

Let your child be a happy, normal kid. Let him know that he doesn’t have to be a super kid in order to please you. Show your child a sturdy foundation of support. Let your child know that you appreciate his efforts and that you are always proud of him. A little love, support and reassurance can go a long way.

Darlene Zagata