10 Steps...

[admin]

To Boost Your Self Confidence

Do you struggle to feel good about yourself? Are you nervous in new situations or wish you had more confidence to speak up in a crowd? Want to know the secrets of feeling good about yourself? Want to feel comfortable in any situation?

If you have answered “YES!” to any of these questions, you should read on. Below are ten steps you can take to help boost your own self-confidence.

1. Count your positives!
This is one of the most important things you can do to increase your self-confidence. Stand in front of the mirror and consciously think about each facet of yourself. If you come up with a negative about something “my nose is slightly crooked” for example, think of a positive thing about that OR balance it with at least one positive “I have beautiful eyes so no-one really looks at my nose, because my eyes attract the most attention.”

You can also count positive things you like about yourself. Make a list, and every day look to add five things to it. If you do this just for a week, you’ll have 35 things you actually like about yourself. What a confidence booster that is!

2. Count your friends.
No-one can really be awful if they have friends. Make a list of all the people in your life that you like and appreciate being around. Then remember: these people also like to hang around you! That means you must have some really nice qualities too.

3. Count your achievements
Everyone has achieved something in their life. At first, you may think this is a small list. However, you will keep adding to it. Count your years of living, school achievements, projects at work you are proud of, your children, years of marriage, etc. All of these are good things you have done. Make your list of achievements continually grow!

4. Work on eliminating or changing only one negative thing at a time.
Often when someone is feeling down about themselves, they try to change everything all at once. It is always difficult to change yourself. It is even more difficult to concentrate on changing many behaviours at the same time. People who make more than one New Years Resolutions usually don’t keep any of them. Choose one area you want to improve in and work on that one. Focus on all the positives and only one negative. Then as you work to change the negative, it is not so daunting.

5. Count your achievements again when your negative has been eliminated!
Count your work on eliminating negative behaviors as achievements. It really is. You have had to work hard at it and you should be proud of yourself when you notice an improvement. Well done! Add this achievement onto your list and review them daily.

6. Treat yourself!
It is often easier to treat others or to give presents to others than to ourselves. However, giving yourself a treat really helps you to love yourself. It is saying, I am worth this movie ticket, time in the bath, this new book, or whatever your treat is. You can give yourself a treat when you achieve something good, or just because you deserve it. You do deserve it!

7. Give yourself a pat on the back!
It is okay to say “I did well at that!” or “I’m proud of that!” If you have done something you are happy with, take the time to give yourself that pat on the back. Give yourself a reward for doing well. Don’t forget to add it in to that list of your achievements too!

8. Count the compliments you receive
People say nice things. Treasure up the words of praise you receive from your boss, from colleagues or from friends. Write them down as soon as possible after you receive a compliment. Read it back to yourself when you feel down. Someone meant that nice thing when they said it, so things are not that bad! Keep a list of compliments you receive if that helps. Compliments from others are treasures that remind you how much you mean to them.

9. Count even the little successes
Even a minor success is still a success! Don’t say “I’ve still got 80 per cent of the project to complete.” Rather say, “I’ve already achieved 20 per cent of the project.” Give yourself smaller stepping stones along the way, and you can celebrate far more achievements than just celebrating at the end of the project.

10. Think positive. If you think negatively about yourself, you will act that way. If you are in the habit of thinking negatively, you need to retrain your brain to think more positively. Every time you catch yourself with a negative thought about yourself, go back to your lists of positive attributes, friends, etc. For every negative thought you have, read over two or three positives in your list.

All these steps will help you to remind yourself how good you really are. You are a wonderful, unique person. There is no-one quite like you and that means you are special. Celebrate YOU!


By Hayley Hunkin