RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: The Hard Truth is a Gift

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Whether you are giving it or receiving it, the hard truth is a gift. Most of us have a difficult time both giving and receiving negative feedback. However, when we care about people, one of the greatest gifts we can give them is to lovingly and respectfully tell them those things about themselves that no one else has the nerve to tell them. Conversely, it is a gift to receive that information about ourselves.

Think of all the things you think to yourself about your loved ones that you don’t dare speak for fear of alienating them. If the person you care about most in the world is doing things that are hurtful to him or others, it is an act of love to bring it to his attention. While the reaction is not likely to be one of open arms, if you speak eye to eye in a way that lets him know you are pulling for him, your honesty can be the catalyst for major changes in his life and yours.

Our view of our self is often best seen through someone else’s eyes. Our own view is typically biased, subjective and tempered by our desire not to be seen in a bad light. So if you are the one receiving feedback that is difficult to hear, try to take what is said and receive it as a gift that you might not otherwise have the chance to unwrap.

Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individuals and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone.

[Christie Gravley]

Hi Amy, Great seeing you last night. I hope you can join us at NY NY on February 9th for networking. It will be great exposure for WQ. Let me know if you would like to make an announcement at the event. Thanks, Christie