Dealing With a Broken Friendship

[admin]

Life is an amazing journey. Every single day is a gift and an opportunity to explore the endless new experiences and wealth of knowledge that is just outside your door. Each morning as you step outside there are millions of intriguing people just waiting to make your acquaintance and share each tender and bittersweet moment with you. Nowadays you don’t even need to go outside to form new friendships, the internet has brought the personalities, wisdom and knowledge of millions of individuals right into your home.

But we humans are creatures of habit; the strongest friendships are usually cemented in the natural world with the people we share our high school and college years with. Friendships are born in the workplace, in coffee shops, and anywhere that offers human contact. But unfortunately as with everything in life these relationships occasionally come to an end, and sometimes it is better to let those friendships go gracefully than to hang on to a situation that could eventually become destructive.

Friendships get better with age. Many of us still keep in contact with our best friends from childhood, the ones we shared our first secrets with, our first crush and all the milestones of our teenage years. These individuals still remember us as the shy, awkward kid on our first day of school. They can recount all the life changing events and twists and turns that make us who we are. There is nothing better than sitting down with an old friend and setting the world to rights over a glass of wine, or recounting stories and hilarious memories of the past.

A simple fact of life is that people change, we all progress in our lives and take paths that can separate us from our friends whether it be marriage, moving home, or a career change. This can prove difficult if one friend is left behind as the other progresses with their life. Happiness for the other can quickly turn to resentment if they are unhappy with their own situation, and can even begin to make the other feel guilty for leaving them behind.

So what do we do in this situation? First of all you have to establish if the friendship has the potential to become damaging. We are not perfect and some of us can lash out and attempt to control the lives of others through guilt, manipulation and jealousy. You may think that anyone capable of these emotions cannot be considered a true friend in the first place but this is not always the case. We all make mistakes and if you can recognize that you are projecting your own feelings of inadequacy onto your friend then it is possible to address the problem.

But unfortunately not everyone has the capacity to realize this and continue forward on a destructive path isolating themselves from their more successful friends. This practice is not exclusive to friendships, many have experienced this with a sibling, parent or other family member. If you find yourself in this situation it can be incredibly upsetting for all involved. While one party feels rejected and left out in the cold, the other feels guilty for their own achievements and as though they have abandoned their friend.

The truth is we are not responsible for the lives of others. Other than our dependents people are free to make their own mistakes and judgements and no amount of help or advice can ever change that.

If you have a friend who is making you feel bad even after you have tried your best to explain how you feel, it may be time to lay the relationship to rest if they cannot come around on their own. We cannot hold every ones hand as they go through life and it is unfair for them to expect you to put your own life on hold to help them through every little feeling of jealousy or inadequacy. By all means offer support to those who need a helping hand along the way, but encourage them to stand on their own two feet. It is better for them in the long run and occasionally we have to be cruel to be kind.

By Calthleen Garvey


　
　
　
　
　
　

[Kim Waltrip]

Wonderful article. people change and we need to support each other's growth and not take things so personally. Be happy with who you are, lead a life filled with integrity and you'll be fine.

[Maribeth Parker]

This article really hit home.. I recently have gone through some major life changes and through it all I have found out who my TRUE friends are. Life is just too short to dwell on the "what if's". If someone treats you badly or you feel the need to hang on..ask yourself.."is this really a true friend?". Friendship like love should not be forced. It should come easy, be comfortable and enjoyable.