RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Give A Little

Last week, I talked about the value of requesting what you want from your partner. This week’s tip is about what to do if your partner makes a request of you. The cherishing response for any reasonable request is to give it, if you can.

Notice that I said “reasonable.” That does not mean that you agree to let your partner watch you have sex with the UPS guy (yes, those kind of requests actually happen) or to any other request that violates your own sense of safety or principles. However, if you are with the right person, you won’t have to worry about needing to say “no” because those kinds of requests won’t even be an issue.

In healthy relationships when a partner asks something of their partner, it’s usually because it’s really important to them. So don’t ever give a flat “no” as it will only create distance between you. If it’s something you are not able to do for some reason or are unable to do without feeling resentful, then come back with an alternative offer of what you are willing to do. But, always honor the request if you can. In the long run, giving a little will get you a lot. Think of it as smart generosity.

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