RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Define What You Want and Ask For It

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Women are often disappointed in relationships because they don't get what they want. They mistakenly believe that men can read their mind or "should just know" their heart's desire. Often women will treat men in the way they want to be treated in the hopes of receiving reciprocal treatment. Then when it doesn't happen, they become resentful. I tell my clients that they have no reason to expect to get what they want unless they ask for it. It is not the reality you would choose, and it is reality. The truth is no one knows your heart but you -- unless you share it, that is.

When I ask women how they communicate their wants to their partner, they seldom tell me that they express their wants and needs directly. There are also women who become so accustomed to stifling their desires that they are no longer able to even identify what they want. Over time, these needless and wantless women often become angry and bitter. Don't let it happen to you.

This week, sit down and identify your relationship wants. Then lovingly ask your partner if he’s willing to give it. As the saying goes, “ask for what you want; you just might get it.” Don’t ask for what you want, and you’re not likely to get it. Make it a practice in your relationship to ask for what you want. Relieving your partner of the need to guess will make both of you happier.

[Jessica Burdick]

I love this blog because it is so true! For me it's especially true in the part about reciprocal treatment...you would think that they would pick up on the little gifts here and there or sweet little notes that are left, and realize that we love that stuff too, but men just don't think like that. I feel like if I have to ask my man to do something nice for me, it doesn't mean the same as if he just did it on his own because I crossed his mind during the day. Ce la vie! Men truly are from Mars!!