Social Etiquette Tip of the Week - Writing a Formal RSVP

[Maria Brady]

Whether it’s an invitation to a wedding, a shower or a dinner party, an invitation usually comes with an important obligation…RSVP!

RSVP comes from the French phrase "répondez s'il vous plaît", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation it means that you must tell the host whether or not you plan to attend…no problem right? But what is the proper protocol when that familiar ‘fill in the blank’ reply card is not included?

Once upon a time, reply cards didn’t exist. When you received a written invitation, you would respond with a hand written note on your own stationery. Because frustrated hosts were making numerous follow-up phone calls to inconsiderate invitees, the "reply card" was invented…much to the dismay of Miss Manners who calls them “horrid”.

Believe it or not, there are those that still abide by that time honored tradition of not including reply cards. So, if you receive an invitaion with no reply card, here is the correct format to write your formal RSVP.

Always mirror your reply to match the original layout and formality of the invitation. Pay attention to whether the lines are centered (they often are) and if so follow suit. Handwrite the response and refer to yourself in the third person, such as:

Mrs. John Franklin Smith
accepts with pleasure
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. William Paul Bradley
for Saturday, the twelfth of April

If you are unable to attend, just replace “accepts with pleasure” with “regrets that she is unable to accept.” Note that abbreviations are never used…everything is always spelled out in full, including the date.

You should reply promptly as it is considered bad etiquette to leave your response to the last minute…be sure to mark your calendar…but most important of all…have a fabulous time!

[Elizabeth Bell]

From someone who takes RSVP's, a reply to attend or not to attend is always appreciated. It is good etiqutte, good manners and the respectable thing to do.