Social Etiquette Tip of the Week - “Good Manners Never Go Out Of Style”

[Maria Brady]

“Today we often hear, especially from the older generation, that good manners are dead. It’s true that some of the meaningless older formalities have vanished. It’s true that social relationships have become more informal and casual in the complex modern world. Yet there probably never has been a time when graciousness, self-discipline, and consideration for others were so badly needed, to offset the stresses and strains of present-day living.”

This statement is from Etiquette for Everybody, published in 1952. It could have been said standing in the grocery store yesterday as easily as 1952.

Etiquette is more about manners and having regard for the "right thing to do" than a set of rules…that was what Emily Post believed and what makes her message still relevant today. Anyone can demonstrate courtesy and consideration for others—the stuff of which good manners are made—without knowing the specific rules of etiquette.

We all know how the simple act of holding a door for someone endears them to us. Turn the cell phone off – or put it on vibrate – on public transportation or during a luncheon meeting. Other small gestures, like standing up when people come into the room or looking people in the eye, shows respect. When invited to a social event, be a good guest…RSVP by the required date.

Emily recognized the world is a constantly changing place and that we need guidelines. Things haven't changed that much from her day. People have a misconception of Emily Post being a stiff Victorian woman. Few people are aware of her philandering husband and the scandalous divorce of 1905. Her biography makes it clear that there is a very strong and impressive woman behind all those do’s and don’t's.

If you read her writings, most of her advice is really just good common sense, respect for others and decency, some things people could use a little more of nowadays. The little things go a long way…and Emily Post would no doubt be pleased.