Social Etiquette Tip of the Week - How to be a Great Wedding Guest!
Sarasota wedding season is in full swing and every weekend brings guests from near and far to our beautiful city.
I was the planner for a beautiful destination wedding at the Powel Crosley Estate last weekend. Everyone, including the bride and her family, were from New York and the bride went to great lengths to insure that all guests felt special and were properly taken care of.
The behavior of some of the guests’ was so inappropriate...they are my inspiration for this week’s social etiquette tips.
The inner envelope tells you who IS invited…it also tells you who is NOT invited.
If it has only your name, then only you are invited. If it says & guest, then you may bring a guest. If it doesn’t have your children’s names on it, then your children are NOT invited. Etiquette experts frown on writing “adult reception” on invites, but unfortunately, guests don’t seem to understand that if your children aren’t included on the inner or outer envelope, they aren’t invited.
Do NOT Wear White. Please, it’s just not appropriate. You obviously have something else in your closet. It doesn’t matter how much you like that dress or how great you think you look in white. Guess who else looks great in white…the bride! The bride is also getting her hair and makeup done. You will never look as nice as she does AND you’ll just be “that woman in the white dress”
Don’t Skip the Ceremony. It’s just plain rude. It makes it look like you just came for the free drinks and food. It’s the most important part of the day.
Don’t arrive late and walk in during the processional. You got an invitation. You know the start time. If for some reason you are late, don’t add insult to injury by cutting in front of the bridal party to try and squeeze in “unnoticed”. Hang back, wait for the bride to enter and then take a seat in the back.
Leave Big Gifts at Home. I know you are excited about the grill you bought them. Don’t show your excitement by bringing it to the wedding. It only makes it difficult for them to get it home.
Don't rearrange the table seating. Your hostess has put a lot of time into planning who sits where.
Don’t Dance Before the First Dance. You can sway during the cocktail hour, but when you get into the reception area, please contain your moves until after the couple has been announced and danced their first dance. (Note to couples: If you aren’t going to do a first dance, do something to open up the dance floor, since guests will be waiting for your cue.) Note to guests that brought children: Keep your children off the dance floor, especially during the couples' first dance. You do not want them tripping the backward walking photographer who assumes the floor is all clear.
If you must cancel, let your hostess know immediately. Even if your meal can't be canceled, your hostess will be able to redo table seating in advance rather than being surprised on the day of the wedding.
Unless you’ve cleared it with your hostess, don't walk off with a centerpiece. Typically the containers are rented or belong to the florist and the bride will be charged for all missing items.
Just be gracious….and have a great time!
I was the planner for a beautiful destination wedding at the Powel Crosley Estate last weekend. Everyone, including the bride and her family, were from New York and the bride went to great lengths to insure that all guests felt special and were properly taken care of.
The behavior of some of the guests’ was so inappropriate...they are my inspiration for this week’s social etiquette tips.
The inner envelope tells you who IS invited…it also tells you who is NOT invited.
If it has only your name, then only you are invited. If it says & guest, then you may bring a guest. If it doesn’t have your children’s names on it, then your children are NOT invited. Etiquette experts frown on writing “adult reception” on invites, but unfortunately, guests don’t seem to understand that if your children aren’t included on the inner or outer envelope, they aren’t invited.
Do NOT Wear White. Please, it’s just not appropriate. You obviously have something else in your closet. It doesn’t matter how much you like that dress or how great you think you look in white. Guess who else looks great in white…the bride! The bride is also getting her hair and makeup done. You will never look as nice as she does AND you’ll just be “that woman in the white dress”
Don’t Skip the Ceremony. It’s just plain rude. It makes it look like you just came for the free drinks and food. It’s the most important part of the day.
Don’t arrive late and walk in during the processional. You got an invitation. You know the start time. If for some reason you are late, don’t add insult to injury by cutting in front of the bridal party to try and squeeze in “unnoticed”. Hang back, wait for the bride to enter and then take a seat in the back.
Leave Big Gifts at Home. I know you are excited about the grill you bought them. Don’t show your excitement by bringing it to the wedding. It only makes it difficult for them to get it home.
Don't rearrange the table seating. Your hostess has put a lot of time into planning who sits where.
Don’t Dance Before the First Dance. You can sway during the cocktail hour, but when you get into the reception area, please contain your moves until after the couple has been announced and danced their first dance. (Note to couples: If you aren’t going to do a first dance, do something to open up the dance floor, since guests will be waiting for your cue.) Note to guests that brought children: Keep your children off the dance floor, especially during the couples' first dance. You do not want them tripping the backward walking photographer who assumes the floor is all clear.
If you must cancel, let your hostess know immediately. Even if your meal can't be canceled, your hostess will be able to redo table seating in advance rather than being surprised on the day of the wedding.
Unless you’ve cleared it with your hostess, don't walk off with a centerpiece. Typically the containers are rented or belong to the florist and the bride will be charged for all missing items.
Just be gracious….and have a great time!
Comment
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Comment by Christen Loria on November 9, 2009 at 4:35pm
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Great advice.
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