Creating a Vision for Your Child's Childhood Memories

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by J. Lenora Bresler


Recently I was hired to conduct training for child care center directors. One of the things I was asked to facilitate was their visioning process in which they created one-sentence vision statements for their centers. It was a fascinating process as they remembered the favorite memories from their own childhoods and extrapolated those memories into portraits of centers that would create those same kinds of meaningful memories for their current students and families. As I was sitting there hearing them share their thoughts, it occurred to me that this would be an excellent exercise for those of us with children.

If you are anything like me, time is always in short supply and the demands of career, professional, civic, and religious organizations, and social concerns are never-ending. I often worry that I am not being the best mother I could or should be, stress over not spending even more time with my son, and fret over the possible consequences. Then I throw up my hands and say, "But I can't do any more!" Suddenly in that training, it dawned on me that we as parents should go through the same exercise as those child care center directors.

Think about your childhood. What do you remember most? What are your most vivid and meaningful memories and what made those special? Is there some kind of common theme? From that commonality, articulate three or four descriptive phrases that capture the essence of what made those memories meaningful. Examples could be: playful, unscripted time with the family, planned family activities, routine activities like bedtime stories, a family movie night, or Sunday dinners at a particular restaurant, boiserous outdoor time, educational trips, themed celebrations, quiet reflection and family discussion, family involvement in sports teams, or the parental support inherent in calling out spelling words for an upcoming test. From these three or four phrases, create one sentence in which you crystallize the kind of childhood memories you want for your child(ren). Now, use that as a guide to prioritize your time. When time is in short supply, spend what you have creating an environment conducive to creating those specific types of memories. It should help you feel more intentional as a parent, as well as assist with time management.

Remember, though, that you never can tell with kids. They are their own selves, and the memories OU cherish may not necessarily be the ones THEY will cherish the most, so it is also beneficial to ask them a simple question: What activities and situations make you feel the most loved? Listen to their answers and if their answers are different from the vision you have created, what do you need to do? Change your vision for you are trying to create a wonderful childhood and the memories of that childhood for THEM.