Make Relationships Last

[Doug Ross]

Is he the ONE? How do you know? How much do you have to know to be sure? Is marriage a possibility?

In my newly revised book, Make Relationships Last: A Man's View (available on amazon) I cover attraction, intimacy, soul mates, chemistry, long distance relationships, and a provocative Q and A that helps understand many gender based issues. I also point out that there is a "fundamental relationship error" many of us make over and over again. There are some wry wisdoms about men, coupled with an admission that we really don't know much of anything about women! Haven't been able to get a shuttle to Venus yet.

If you have questions about us men, please ask us. If we don't know, we'll make something up, but you already know that! Don't forget that on Mars, we always need to fix things, and sometimes people too! Even though you haven't yet asked, we like to be touched and loved as much as you do, and we might need your help to do it the way you like it.

Dr. Doug, little known Guru

[Doug Ross]

Kim had some great wisdoms for those using online dtaing services. One thing we all seem to say is that we have to know ourslelves. There are many ways to get help from instruments, tests, and feedback from our friends, families and acquaintances. In each case we have to ask them what they see about us, and then see if it jives with our own view.

Helen Fisher, she founded chemistry.com, has written an easy-to-read book titled Why Him? Why Her? She claims that four patterns arose in the 39,000 people who joined Chemistry .com and took her test. The tests are highy validated by her research, and the four "types" have definite preferences for mates. I, for example, would be a "director", and the type person with whom directors are most compatible are "negotators" . "Builders" are attracted to each other. Explorers also choose each other. When I read the qualities of a negotiator, it was a perfect description of the person I would choose.

Furthermore the types are correlated with amounts of brain chemicals in the blood stream during early development. The chemicals are testosterone, estrogen, serotonin, dopamine and to a lesser extent, norepinephrine, and oxytocin. The presence or absence of these chamicals provide an extra check on validity of the test results.

The test is not infallible, but the success of the choices in Fisher's reserach is quite impressive. Back to where I started, more than anything else, you can find out who you are with unexpectedly high validity and reliability. Try it!

Doug Ross