Read the Signals

Feelings and negative emotions are signals. Anger, sadness, fear, shame, anxiety and depression are all signals that something in life is out of balance. In relationships, the signal may that you are being mistreated, tolerating behavior from someone else that you shouldn’t, or perhaps that you are treating someone else poorly or not acting within your own integrity. Emotions are designed to get you to move. They remind you to make changes, and call you back to your values.

Although feelings are not necessarily rational, they give you vital information about where you are in life and in relationship. Sometimes the issue is an unresolved issue of your own, and sometimes the issue is someone else’s issue. It is important to know the difference. When someone else’s issue is affecting your life in a negative way, the emotion reflects a need to take an action.

Negative emotions are regulated and discharged when the issue underneath the feeling is addressed. When issues are avoided, the feelings come back to remind you again and again. Recognize the reminder the negative emotion is attempting to give. When a negative emotion recurs and you are not able to read the signal on your own, it’s time to seek professional help. Ultimately, you regulate your own feelings by paying attention to them. Sometimes asking for help is a way of paying attention. Read the signal the negative emotion is trying to give you, and watch the negative emotion go away.
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Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Therapist. She counsels individual and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone.

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