RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Realities Differ

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Each person’s reality of the same situation or incident will differ. We can be at the same place, at the same time and yet hear, see and interpret differently.

Recognize that your partner’s reality will differ from your reality. We do not come to each other with clean slates. We come to each other colored by our experiences and checkered with wounds from our past. Because we do not see through the same lens, we will have a different gauge.

Do your best to understand your partner’s response to the particular situation, and ask him to understand yours. When you skim beneath the surface to understand the basis of your partner’s reality, you then reach a deeper level of emotional intimacy…and you will also have a lot less arguments. Don’t dispute your partner; respect the differences between you. Instead of thinking that you’re right and he’s wrong, think “That’s his reality, and this is mine. Let me try to understand his reality and help him to understand mine.”