RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Prevent the Invasion of the In-Laws

Time around family over the holidays can sometimes create tension in relationships. If you are one of the unfortunate ones who have in-laws or parents who are critical or non-supportive of your relationship, be sure to put a protective bubble around your relationship this holiday season. By that I mean, make a conscious effort to prevent intrusion in your relationship. Remember that your relationship with your spouse is your primary relationship now. If your parents are saying or doing negative things towards your partner, it is your responsibility to draw the line and vice versa. Expecting your partner to fend for himself or to simply sit there and take it will only make things worse.

Family loyalty isn’t always a good thing for the relationship. If necessary, ask your family members to support your relationship instead of taking sides with you.

Remember to take time for each other. Don’t leave your spouse sitting on the sidelines while you are totally absorbed visiting with family you may not see often. Make sure your memories of the holiday will include couple memories, not just memories involving your family of origin. Steal some moments to connect.

Remember, when the family is gone, you’ll be the one at home reaping the consequences. When you prevent the invasion of the in-laws, you won’t be standing face-to-face with a spouse who feels neglected or bashed.

Amy Warren is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Master Certified Relational Life Counselor. She counsels individuals and couples in her private practice in Sarasota and nationwide by phone.

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