Internet Dating: Proceed with Caution
The internet has opened up a world of possibilities, including the chance to meet a world of potential dates you would not otherwise meet. It affords you the opportunity to meet men who aren’t just hanging out at the bars or extroverted enough to try to make a date in the grocery store, meaning online dates might be better choices than you’ll find elsewhere. As in every crowd, there are going to be a few bad apples. While there are definitely men on singles dating sites that are misrepresenting themselves, it would be a shame to miss out on the good guys online. However, because you are entering a community where you have no information other than what the men choose to reveal to you, it is important to be cautious and safe. Follow the guidelines below to protect yourself.
Keep It Quiet
Never give out personal information like your address or home phone number. Don’t disclose your personal email address until you’ve spent a considerable amount of time getting to know the person. If you are going to make the transition to corresponding outside of the website, then sign up for a free email service and don’t use your full name. When you do give out a phone number, either give your cell phone number or arrange to call him and *67 to block your number.
Gather Facts
Find out the last names of potential dates before you have any kind of contact outside of the website. Google the name and see if the information you gather coincides with what he’s told you. It may even be worthwhile to do a little investigative work. A small fee of as little as $20 for a background check may well be worth a lot of peace of mind.
Use Your Intuition
Listen to your gut. If he comes on too strong too soon before he’s even met you, it’s a bad sign. He doesn’t even know you yet. Does he only correspond with you during the work day or perhaps when his wife is asleep at night? Yes, you need to be cognizant of those kinds of things; it has been estimated that 30 percent of cyber-daters are married!
Do It In Public
Make your first actual meeting in a public place. Give a friend the details of who you are with and where you will be. Agree beforehand to make the first date a brief one, in case you are not feeling comfortable.
Stop the Fantasizing
Beware of engaging in fantasy. When you see someone’s profile that reads of all the things you want in a person, remember that at this point, it is only words. While the words may be sincere, you will never know until you have spent a considerable amount of time with another person whether they actually are.
The “right” guy is going to understand any precautions you want to make to ensure your safety, and he’s also likely to respect your discriminating taste. Don’t hesitate to enter the world of internet dating. The more men you “meet,” the better the odds of finding the right one. Just remember, it’s better to be safe than sorry and proceed with caution.
by Amy Warren, LMHC
Keep It Quiet
Never give out personal information like your address or home phone number. Don’t disclose your personal email address until you’ve spent a considerable amount of time getting to know the person. If you are going to make the transition to corresponding outside of the website, then sign up for a free email service and don’t use your full name. When you do give out a phone number, either give your cell phone number or arrange to call him and *67 to block your number.
Gather Facts
Find out the last names of potential dates before you have any kind of contact outside of the website. Google the name and see if the information you gather coincides with what he’s told you. It may even be worthwhile to do a little investigative work. A small fee of as little as $20 for a background check may well be worth a lot of peace of mind.
Use Your Intuition
Listen to your gut. If he comes on too strong too soon before he’s even met you, it’s a bad sign. He doesn’t even know you yet. Does he only correspond with you during the work day or perhaps when his wife is asleep at night? Yes, you need to be cognizant of those kinds of things; it has been estimated that 30 percent of cyber-daters are married!
Do It In Public
Make your first actual meeting in a public place. Give a friend the details of who you are with and where you will be. Agree beforehand to make the first date a brief one, in case you are not feeling comfortable.
Stop the Fantasizing
Beware of engaging in fantasy. When you see someone’s profile that reads of all the things you want in a person, remember that at this point, it is only words. While the words may be sincere, you will never know until you have spent a considerable amount of time with another person whether they actually are.
The “right” guy is going to understand any precautions you want to make to ensure your safety, and he’s also likely to respect your discriminating taste. Don’t hesitate to enter the world of internet dating. The more men you “meet,” the better the odds of finding the right one. Just remember, it’s better to be safe than sorry and proceed with caution.
by Amy Warren, LMHC
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