Life Is Like a Poker Game

[Bonita]

Can you turn your life into a game? Then you could learn the rules, learn how to play really well, have fun and enjoy it, be patient, take the losses with the wins and always want to play more. If only you could!

You never know where life’s lessons will come from. I learned lessons as I watched people play poker. The cards were dealt; the chips were tossed into the middle of the table, the smoke, the food, and the arguments! I remember the laughter, the teasing and the expressions on the player’s faces.

What I learned from those poker games was more than a flush beats a straight. I learned what people are made of, what made a winner and a loser, how to read a person and how to position yourself to put the odds in your favor. Although this was a poker game it was also a metaphor for life. I would like to share my thoughts and see if you can find a tool to use for your life.

As I watched the poker game I saw the faces of the winners and the losers and they were always the same. I learned what the faces had in common and I learned how to understand them.

Losers always need to win, and that desire and need causes them to lose. They go into the poker game with money they can’t afford to lose, and then they lose it. Because they can’t afford to lose when they do lose, they need to win it back. The need to get it back leads them to play hands they should fold. They chase their losses rather than playing the hand in question. The more they lose, the more losing hands they play in that never ending chase to break even.

In your life and poker the moment you invest you have to consider the money lost. You don’t invest to lose, and you don’t walk into a poker game to lose; however, if you invest you have to accept the possibility that you can lose. Since you can lose, you never invest money you can’t afford to lose. As in the poker game, you will make bad decisions and play bad hands. You will keep money in the investment when it’s going down because you don’t want to accept your loss, so you end up losing more. You make endless bad decisions because you don’t know how to play.

Another rule is to understand you have to play in games that are in your league. I remember that the players all took the level of the game quite seriously. As they played and threw the chips in the pot, they took each other seriously as well. The game had a playing field that they called level.

What I discovered was no matter how good or how bad you are maybe you can’t win. Maybe you can’t compete. Remember, if you can’t afford to lose, you can’t play the game, right? The chips still fly; the chatter of the room is the same as the players talk and banter. The cigarette smoke lingers as in the other game, and the cards shuffle and fly around the table.

But this game is different. I should have stayed in! Deal, come on and deal. I’ll get it back; these guys don’t know how to play. That’s a lot of money I’m going to go home with. I’m going to make back the losses and leave with all their money! What a bunch of bluffers. You got me last hand, but this one is mine. These guys sure bet a lot! I’m glad I’m a winner! Oh, no! He wasn’t bluffing. Put another marker in. Bet! Bet! Lose! Lose!

What happens when you are out of your league? When you play, the chips have to have the same meaning for each person; otherwise, how do you read the bets, how do you read the players, and how do you play without self-doubt? You have to play in the game you can afford. Then you can make the right decisions.

Here’s another interesting thing about poker: It’s a game of patience. That was a hard thing for me because I didn’t understand money. I understood games. Games are for playing, and you always want to play. You like to win, but more importantly you like to play. Poker is about patience and understanding your opportunities. You pass, fold, wait till either you have the cards or feel you have the right way to win. The game is more about folding and reading the situations than playing. It’s about understanding situations, putting the odds in your favor, understanding people, and finding your opportunities. As in life, there are many opportunities, many choices. Decide which opportunities make sense to you.

Remember, to win you have to stay involved. You have to care and pay attention. When you play under your league, the game may not interest you; you may just throw your money in and play too many hands. As with life, you have to care. When you get bored, upset, or just don’t care, you throw your money in the pot without care. Then you aren't losing, but more giving up by not playing. As in life, you have to care about the game. You have to want to play and want to do your best. In life, you have to value it and want to live it to your best.

You have to want to play, not desperate to win, but play your best and have a good attitude. Then you don’t complain, you don’t make excuses and you don’t start the game with an expectation. You also want to enjoy the game, so you check your attitude. You want to play with a good attitude and enjoy the game, the food, and the company along the way. Losers seem to have a bad attitude and stop enjoying the game. A loser is not someone who loses that pot but rather loses his or her perspective in the process.

Interestingly enough, I learned compassion about poker games. I would see a player had a winning hand, and when it was down to just a winner and another player who was losing too much, even though the winner had the winning hand, he would throw it in. Compassion instead of greed! It was a valuable lesson.

Lastly, and one of the most important lessons, was learning that you don’t measure your success in one hand or one game. You will lose hands. You will lose games. You can keep a tally sheet with the results of how he did each week. At the end of the year examine how you did for the year and see where you stand. Are you ahead or behind? So play by the rules, do your best and make more good decisions than bad. We all get bad hands and make bad decisions, but we keep examining what we did right and what we did wrong and try to learn to do our best and then, in the end, it’s the overall outcome that matters, not individual hands or games.

If you understand that the long run is what counts, you’ll never have a bad attitude when losing. You’ll never become desperate during an individual situation. You also won’t get overly ecstatic about an individual win. I saw losers at a game so happy over a single big pot that they lost perspective on how they were doing in the game. Or they would win a game and feel pretty confident, only to come back the next week and lose twice as much as they previously won. The game is won by being consistent and working at your overall life. Remember, success is in the whole (balance).

Life is not a single moment, and you need to play to do your best. Accept your bad hands and come on, people, ENJOY IT!

To quote Kenny Rogers, “You've got to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. You never count your money when you're sit’in at the table. There'll be time enough for count’in when the dealings done.”

It’s also a perspective on investing and living life, so remember, “Life’s a poker game.” Get in the game and do your best!


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Marvin Tschiegg & Marian Tschiegg, RN

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[Beverly Katzenberger]

You did a wonderful job on telling us the psychology of playing poker. Are you a gambler?