RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Enlist Your Friends

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Most of us like to confide in our girlfriends about whatever relationship issues we’re having. While it’s true that one of the great things about female friendships is that we do actually talk to each other about feelings; it’s also generally true that our friends will side with us no matter what. Instead, ask your friends not to side with you necessarily, but to side with your relationship -- a healthy relationship, that is.

Being open to authentic feedback from your friends allows you to grow from the insights of the people who know you best. It may not always be what you want to hear, but wouldn’t you want to know if you were doing something that might damage your relationship or even chase your man away? And wouldn’t you want to know if you were being blind to mistreatment on his part? The truth isn’t always easy to hear, but take it in, try it on, and see if it fits.

When friends consistently side with us, it just gives more life to the negativity. Ultimately by asking your friends to side with the relationship, you are asking your friends to support you in having what you really want—a relationship in which you are cherished and cherishing. Now, that’s a true friend.

[Doug Ross]

I think the key here, for both women and men, is to have a friend who will listen without judgment.
Doug