Dear Coach: Home for the Holidays: Warm and Secure or Fodder for a Binge?

[Rev. Dr. Christina Winsey]

Often in health and weight-loss coaching one of the main topics to come up is that of Holidays, family and food. A recent client conversation reminded me of the "boomerang" affects that being home for the Holidays has on her. You just might relate to what she says below:

"My usual pattern on Holidays is that I make it all the way through," she says. What she means is that she doesn't even touch the sweets and treats -- avoids the alcohol, the breads and fatty foods -- "but it's very hard. Everyone is eating, drinking and all the usual family dynamics are in play. It's very stressful and I have to force myself to stay away from the fattening foods. Then, when I finally get home after it all I find myself plopped in front of the TV with two pints of my favorite ice cream and can't get enough. What gives?"
Have you ever had this experience? For so many people being "home for the Holidays" is more of an obstacle course of human dynamics, relationship issues and overindulgences rather than the Rockwell-like ideal movies, greeting cards and the stories portray.

Many confess that they go home to visit family out of a sense of obligation or the need to please others, but that if they had their way they would celebrate this special time in their own unique way, even if that meant choosing not to be with family. There is a great deal of pressure on all of us to act like, and sound like the Holidays are a happy and wonderful time, and indeed, for many it may well be. It is also important that we recognize that the Holidays seem to be in a time in which the rates of loneliness, addictions and even suicide increase.

So the bottom line is that if you are a binge/stress eater you may experience the boomerang effect -- that of being in a stressful environment, denying yourself the "goodies" so you don't gain weight, and ignoring that you're really feeling deprived and unhappy. What that means is that you have probably ignored your own feelings, preferences and needs in order to please others and fulfill obligations, putting off what's important to you.
The greatest gift you can give to yourself (and ultimately to others) is you, whole, happy and healthy. Give yourself permission this year to make this Holiday be a time to reflect on what really matters to you, and to celebrate in the way that is the least stressful - most meaningful to you. It may mean saying "no" to the usual demands others make on you. That may feel strange, uncomfortable and awkward, but what is the price to you if you don't honor yourself?

When you do this you are far more able to keep up with your healthful habits, to honor your feelings and minimize the desire to binge. Something to think strongly about....

To Your Health,

Dr. Chris
The "I Can" Doctor

[Bonnie Gray]

:) well said!