Dear Coach: I Want to Set a Big Goal for my Life But...

[Rev. Dr. Christina Winsey]

Dear Coach:

I have big dreams and big goals for my life, my career and my health, but I'm scared. I just feel as though they are all pipe dreams and I doubt they're possible. I worry and I wrack my brain wondering how in the world I could possibly achieve the things I really want. They just seem beyond my control. But I want them so much at the same time. I feel frozen from fear, frozen because I don't know how to make them happen, and just plain stuck. Can you help?

Stuck from Fear

Dear "Stuck from Fear":

"The moment you are ready and willing, God is able." (For those of you who don't like the word "God," replace it with "the Universe," "Higher Power," or "Nature")

Quote by Alan Cohen, Author of "The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore,"

Giving up Control May Actually Get you Further! We humans often spend so much time controlling things -- or trying to, I should say. How much do we really control? Most everything else is beyond our control, much as we might think it isn't!

Many people, and especially women, stop themselves from either going for a goal, or from actually achieving it. So often it’s because they can't figure out HOW they will get to some goal. Men don't worry so much about that. Mostly they keep their eye on the goal and just start strategically planning. Women look at all there is to be done to get to the goal and stop themselves cold because it seems just too much and too hard. This kills many dreams.

I love the phrase "How you will get there is not your business". I don't remember where I heard it but it really is true. Your job is to identify what you want. Plan and strategize action steps, yes, but worrying about it and whether it can or will happen leaves so much room for doubt and fear to stop you.

A dear friend and mentor of mine used the analogy of being in a restaurant. She said, “when you order your food you don’t doubt it will come out of the kitchen fully cooked – you trust that you’ve given the right order and followed the right steps. If you doubted you might be running into the kitchen and asking the chef if he or she is sure they know what they’re doing.”

It is similar with setting goals. When you focus, prioritize and declare what you want you have, in essence, given your “order,” to yourself and to the Universe (God or “Higher Power”). Your job is to do everything you know how to plan, take action and overcome obstacles. The rest is in the hands of the Universe.

It is amazing what happens when you are committed to, and focused on a declared outcome or goal. When you are truly committed in your head and heart, it seems that people and opportunities come straight out of nowhere to help you – things you couldn’t have controlled or orchestrated if you had tried.

Here is one of my favorite quotes.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative ( and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now". J. W. von Goethe - The Power of Commitment

Go to it, whatever it is you want. Declare the outcome and make your plans. Take action with faith and it will come to pass.

Warmly,

Dr. Chris

www.TheICanDoctor.com