Dear Coach: My Kids and I are Chubby - How do I Change our Family Eating Habits?
Dear Coach:
I am so concerned about my son (12) and daughter (14). Both of them are chubby. Recently I decided it was time to get myself healthy and lose the extra 35 pounds I have been carrying around for years. I’m scared about my health and have been reading all the statistics about the rise of diabetes and diseases that seem to be caused by obesity. Unfortunately I have passed on my bad eating habits to my kids and now that I want to get them healthier and have started changing what we eat my kids are rebelling.
They roll their eyes and tell me there’s “nothing to eat” in the house. They turn their noses up even at fresh fruit. Forget any low fat choices. They want all the butter, fried, breaded, processed and greasy they can get. All they want is the junkie foods. While our family eating habits haven't been the best, I certainly didn't raise them solely on junk food. I have cooked fish, chicken, turnkey, vegetables and the like. But I will admit we have had our share of fried, buttered, battered and starcy - lots of potatoes, rolls, rice, and sweets. Candy at the movies, Cake at church - and the kids would "sneak" extra cookies.
So now I'm trying to go low fat and lower the amount of sweets and carbs in our diet. I know breakfast is a really important meal so I bought turkey bacon instead of regular bacon to cut down on the fat content. I bought them whole grain toast and don't put butter on the toast, but they just won’t eat any of it. What can I do?
Mom in Jersey “Fighting” for Family’s Health!
Dear Fighting:
First, let me say that what you are doing is fantastic! You are trying to set the example for your children by getting healthy yourself. As you've probably read and heard many times, children emulate what their parents do, much more than what their parents say, and so you have your work cut out for you. There may be a solution here if you take a bit of a different tactic.
Remember, on top of the fact that to kids, Mom’s ideas are not considered “cool,” you have the added challenge of other influences in their environment; for instance, what the school serves, what their peers eat, what they see on television and what their taste buds have gotten used to. Keep in mind, when it comes to any negative habit, negative addiction or negative behavior, criticism, lecturing or trying to change others never works whether kids or adults. You can really only work on improving you.
I am not a child psychologist, but I am a mother of two growing boys, one 9 and the other 13. One thing I do know is that though they try to pretend otherwise and rebel, my kids really want leadership, direction and guidance. It seems to me you have a golden opportunity here. Since you are embarking on self-improvement in your health, why not let them become the experts and have them help you to lose that weight?
We are forever trying to teach our children, but have you thought about how much fun it is for them to teach us? Here are steps I have strategized with a number of my clients who are parents that have worked beautifully:
1. First have a talk with your kids. Tell them you apologize for trying to impose your goals onto them. You cannot expect them to change all of their eating habits just because you are doing so.
2. Let them know that you do intend to cook healthy meals with great choices, and while you no longer will force them to eat turkey bacon, you certainly won’t be buying the high fat, unhealthy choices you used to.
a. Ask them to help you in a compromise by going with you to the grocery store to help pick out less sugary or fatty choices by reading labels with you.
b. Ask them to pick out healthier recipes with you -- ones that the whole family would enjoy.
c. Let them know you will keep some snacks on hand that are things they like (yes even if they are the unhealthy choices you don’t want them to eat).
3. Now, having them “teach” you: let the kids know “Mom needs your help.” Ask them to remind you when you look like you’re “slipping” (i.e., grabbing chips & dip instead of a salad, etc.). You may even ask them to log your progress and to coach and cheer you on each day as you get thinner and live healthier. Together make a graph of your progress as you weigh in each week and “report” to them. Get them involved.
Meanwhile, bring home books, magazine articles, DVD’s and CD’s about the topic. But never give them to the children directly. The kitchen seems to be the mainstay gathering place for most families. So, I take advantage of that. I leave things lying around. I open the articles with pictures of interest and leave them on the kitchen table. Or, while I’m cooking and they’re doing their homework at the kitchen table I have the DVD playing and tell them (“Mom needs to watch this”).while I’m cooking and they’re doing homework in the kitchen. When we’re in the car I tell them I’m listening to the CD to help ME, and if they complain they want music I tell them, “This is how I find the time to listen to these CD’s – when I’m driving. “ This way they are "learning" without realizing they're being taught. It is non-threatening learning because it is "to help Mom!"
Chances are your kids will be far more impressed with you keeping your commitment to yourself and to them – the commitment to get and stay healthy -- than any lecture or “Mom-imposed” healthy eating regimen you try to force onto them!
Good luck, and you go, Girl!
Dr. Chris
The "I Can:" Doctor
Want private help kicking a sugar (or other) addiction? Just want assistance getting the weight off? Take advantage of a free consultation (Dr. Chris coaches clients all over the World by phone and treats patients locally in the Sarasota/Tampa Bay area). Ask for your free consultation. Visit www.TheICanDoctor.com and fill out Dr. Chris’ pre-consultation questionnaire here: http://www.theicandoctor.com/form1.html
I am so concerned about my son (12) and daughter (14). Both of them are chubby. Recently I decided it was time to get myself healthy and lose the extra 35 pounds I have been carrying around for years. I’m scared about my health and have been reading all the statistics about the rise of diabetes and diseases that seem to be caused by obesity. Unfortunately I have passed on my bad eating habits to my kids and now that I want to get them healthier and have started changing what we eat my kids are rebelling.
They roll their eyes and tell me there’s “nothing to eat” in the house. They turn their noses up even at fresh fruit. Forget any low fat choices. They want all the butter, fried, breaded, processed and greasy they can get. All they want is the junkie foods. While our family eating habits haven't been the best, I certainly didn't raise them solely on junk food. I have cooked fish, chicken, turnkey, vegetables and the like. But I will admit we have had our share of fried, buttered, battered and starcy - lots of potatoes, rolls, rice, and sweets. Candy at the movies, Cake at church - and the kids would "sneak" extra cookies.
So now I'm trying to go low fat and lower the amount of sweets and carbs in our diet. I know breakfast is a really important meal so I bought turkey bacon instead of regular bacon to cut down on the fat content. I bought them whole grain toast and don't put butter on the toast, but they just won’t eat any of it. What can I do?
Mom in Jersey “Fighting” for Family’s Health!
Dear Fighting:
First, let me say that what you are doing is fantastic! You are trying to set the example for your children by getting healthy yourself. As you've probably read and heard many times, children emulate what their parents do, much more than what their parents say, and so you have your work cut out for you. There may be a solution here if you take a bit of a different tactic.
Remember, on top of the fact that to kids, Mom’s ideas are not considered “cool,” you have the added challenge of other influences in their environment; for instance, what the school serves, what their peers eat, what they see on television and what their taste buds have gotten used to. Keep in mind, when it comes to any negative habit, negative addiction or negative behavior, criticism, lecturing or trying to change others never works whether kids or adults. You can really only work on improving you.
I am not a child psychologist, but I am a mother of two growing boys, one 9 and the other 13. One thing I do know is that though they try to pretend otherwise and rebel, my kids really want leadership, direction and guidance. It seems to me you have a golden opportunity here. Since you are embarking on self-improvement in your health, why not let them become the experts and have them help you to lose that weight?
We are forever trying to teach our children, but have you thought about how much fun it is for them to teach us? Here are steps I have strategized with a number of my clients who are parents that have worked beautifully:
1. First have a talk with your kids. Tell them you apologize for trying to impose your goals onto them. You cannot expect them to change all of their eating habits just because you are doing so.
2. Let them know that you do intend to cook healthy meals with great choices, and while you no longer will force them to eat turkey bacon, you certainly won’t be buying the high fat, unhealthy choices you used to.
a. Ask them to help you in a compromise by going with you to the grocery store to help pick out less sugary or fatty choices by reading labels with you.
b. Ask them to pick out healthier recipes with you -- ones that the whole family would enjoy.
c. Let them know you will keep some snacks on hand that are things they like (yes even if they are the unhealthy choices you don’t want them to eat).
3. Now, having them “teach” you: let the kids know “Mom needs your help.” Ask them to remind you when you look like you’re “slipping” (i.e., grabbing chips & dip instead of a salad, etc.). You may even ask them to log your progress and to coach and cheer you on each day as you get thinner and live healthier. Together make a graph of your progress as you weigh in each week and “report” to them. Get them involved.
Meanwhile, bring home books, magazine articles, DVD’s and CD’s about the topic. But never give them to the children directly. The kitchen seems to be the mainstay gathering place for most families. So, I take advantage of that. I leave things lying around. I open the articles with pictures of interest and leave them on the kitchen table. Or, while I’m cooking and they’re doing their homework at the kitchen table I have the DVD playing and tell them (“Mom needs to watch this”).while I’m cooking and they’re doing homework in the kitchen. When we’re in the car I tell them I’m listening to the CD to help ME, and if they complain they want music I tell them, “This is how I find the time to listen to these CD’s – when I’m driving. “ This way they are "learning" without realizing they're being taught. It is non-threatening learning because it is "to help Mom!"
Chances are your kids will be far more impressed with you keeping your commitment to yourself and to them – the commitment to get and stay healthy -- than any lecture or “Mom-imposed” healthy eating regimen you try to force onto them!
Good luck, and you go, Girl!
Dr. Chris
The "I Can:" Doctor
Want private help kicking a sugar (or other) addiction? Just want assistance getting the weight off? Take advantage of a free consultation (Dr. Chris coaches clients all over the World by phone and treats patients locally in the Sarasota/Tampa Bay area). Ask for your free consultation. Visit www.TheICanDoctor.com and fill out Dr. Chris’ pre-consultation questionnaire here: http://www.theicandoctor.com/form1.html
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