Relationship Tip of the Week: Contain Yourself

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Anger is a part of any healthy relationship. Any time anger is felt is actually an opportunity for repair. The feeling is an internal signal that something is awry and needs to be addressed. The problem isn’t with the anger itself; it is in how it is expressed. When anger is expressed inappropriately, the issue then becomes the behavior around the anger rather than the situation that initially needed to be repaired. Thus, when you don’t manage your anger well, you then have two issues to deal with instead of only one. So the key is not to contain the anger, but to contain YOU!

Raised voices, hash tones, vicious words, slammed doors and violent acts are all examples of mismanaged anger. Whenever you feel angry, check your volume, tone, words and actions. Make a conscious effort to soften, to be respectful, and to think before you speak. Remember that anger doesn’t need to be contained, but you do.