RELATIONSHIP TIP OF THE WEEK: Make the Perfect Apology

[Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist]

Remorse + Behavior Change = The Perfect Apology

Apologies alone are only words. Although we all like to hear “I’m sorry”, an apology is only meaningful if the words are backed up with a change in behavior. True forgiveness doesn’t occur with the sound of “I’m sorry.” True forgiveness is earned as trust is regained that the same behavior won’t reoccur. This week, consider what you feel remorse about and make the perfect apology. Say “I’m sorry” and then follow it with a change in behavior, making sure never to inflict the same pain again. You’ll notice you’ll say “I’m sorry” less often if you make the behavior change the first time around. Your partner will feel better about you, and you’ll feel better about yourself. What could be more perfect!

[Doug Ross]

Thank you Amy. This can't be repeated often enough. Sometimes the person to whom you owe the apology will also be somebody who can help you keep the new commitment. When you have to apologize for the same thing a second time, you need help.