For all of those things you want to complain about in your relationship, change the complaints to requests. Requests are present or future-oriented which is what really matters anyway. Complaints are about what has already happened. The present is where we should be living; after all, we can’t change the past and hanging onto the negatives from it won’t do any good either.
Requesting your partner to do something is much more likely to…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 21, 2009 at 2:00pm —
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“Why on earth are you going to take a Culinary course? You’re a great cook! You don’t need to learn anything!” exclaimed my mother. Although my mother may be biased, most people do consider me a good cook. My dishes are sought out at potlucks and praised at dinner parties. But what has heretofore been unveiled is the chaos behind the scenes. My knife skills are far from adequate. It usually takes me at least twice as long to make a recipe as the recipe suggests, and just as much time to…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 20, 2009 at 10:00pm —
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Those of us who complain about the lack of dancing opportunities in Sarasota had no reason to complain this week-end! The Vinyl Festival brought electronic music mixed by both world and locally renowned DJs to multiple venues, bringing the nightlife in Sarasota to life! Paul Mendez, Master Jay, Diamond, Drager, and DeeJay Barry were just a few of the names. It was one of those rare week-ends when you want to be everywhere at once, and the only…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 19, 2009 at 1:23pm —
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The internet has opened up a world of possibilities, including the chance to meet a world of potential dates you would not otherwise meet. It affords you the opportunity to meet men who aren’t just hanging out at the bars or extroverted enough to try to make a date in the grocery store, meaning online dates might be better choices than you’ll find elsewhere. As in every crowd, there are going to be a few bad apples. While there are definitely men on singles dating sites that are misrepresenting…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 15, 2009 at 1:30pm —
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This week’s tip is about being your self. How many times have you based what you are about to say on how you think your partner will react, or what you think he wants to hear? How often do you gauge what you do on his expected behavior? You probably know the drill. You express the opinion or answer you think he wants to hear because you are afraid of being rejected if you say what you really think. You tiptoe around him in an effort to avoid igniting further the bad mood he already seems to be…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 13, 2009 at 12:30pm —
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I must confess that I had never heard of Camellia oil prior to receiving a collection of Julie Hewett Los Angeles makeup. So when I initially opened the package, my first reaction was “What’s this?” followed by “Why did she send this to me?” Now I can totally understand why anyone would want to pass the word about these Camellia oil products. My face loves drinking in the moisture of the Camellia Balm Pot, and it carries a glow long after applying the…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 8, 2009 at 5:30pm —
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All too often, people say mean or hurtful words and then dismiss them later. "I was angry" "I was just having a bad day" or the proverbial "I was just PMSing" are all excuses people give for words they regret in hindsight. It is not acceptable to say words that hurt someone you care about in the heat of the moment and then fail to take responsibility for it. Words can cause a lot of pain, and often the very words that cause the most pain weren’t ever meant to be said.
So before you…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on July 5, 2009 at 6:30pm —
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Imagine how thrilled Kim and I were when Rhonda Gorham took time out from lunching with George Clooney and meeting with the likes of Clint Eastwood and Annette Bening to send us some of the cosmetic line that the stars themselves are wearing. Yes, Rhonda who used to own Simply Spoiled here in Sarasota is now hanging out with celebrities in Beverly Hills, but she hasn’t left behind her love of quality cosmetics. Rhonda was so taken in by the cosmetic line of Julie Hewett, who has been makeup…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 29, 2009 at 5:00pm —
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This week, I’m adding a step to last week’s tip of asking for what you want. The next step is to empower your partner to succeed. In the Relational Life Therapy that I practice, we call this the golden rule of relational empowerment. It goes like this: Your partner agrees to something you request of him. After you express your gratitude, ask him “How can I help you be able to do this for me?” Then be open to whatever you can do that might enable your partner to come through for you. Sometimes…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 28, 2009 at 9:30am —
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Roles were a bit reversed in Adriel Zahniser’s family. It wasn’t her parents who said “Eat your greens.” It was Adriel who taught her parents to eat healthy. As a ballerina, Adriel learned early on that she had to watch what she ate. Eating her father’s Italian cooking or her mother’s down-home cooking wasn’t going to cut it.
So as a teen, she was in the kitchen making her own meals, recreating the same dishes her parents made to make them less… Continue
Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 25, 2009 at 9:30am —
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You thought the $25 three course dinners offered during Savor Sarasota Restaurant Week were a good deal! Well, the indulgences aren't over yet. Wait until you hear this one! Caraguilos is offering a four-course prix fixe dinner for $19.89! That's because on this date 20 years ago, the Caraguilo brothers, along with some help from their mom and dad, opened Caraguilos Restaurant in Sarasota. So, as part of the year-long 20th Anniversary celebration, the “bros” are going back to the summer of 1989…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 22, 2009 at 10:00pm —
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Women are often disappointed in relationships because they don't get what they want. They mistakenly believe that men can read their mind or "should just know" their heart's desire. Often women will treat men in the way they want to be treated in the hopes of receiving reciprocal treatment. Then when it doesn't happen, they become resentful. I tell my clients that they have no reason to expect to get what they want unless they ask for it. It is not the reality you would choose, and it is…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 21, 2009 at 3:00pm —
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Michelle Sampson, president of Gimme Shelter and WQ’s pet video host, did a knock-out job of planning the Pets in the City 2 event to benefit her pet adoption program. The Japanese theme gave a fun twist to the event. Geisha girls, Sumo wrestlers, and even a Japanese Palm Reader were part of the fun on hand.
The Oriental theme continued with the cuisine. Horse Feathers did a great job with the food (as they did with our WQ Meet and Eat Lunch) serving sushi, poached salmon and my…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 20, 2009 at 10:00am —
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Much ado has been made about President Obama’s date nights with his wife, Michelle. Yet President Obama is modeling a ritual that all couples would do well to incorporate into their relationship. I recommend weekly date nights to all my clients as a way to make space for true intimacy, to connect on a stress-free level away from kids and work, and perhaps most importantly, to keep the fires burning.
Do you only get dressed up for your husband when an event calls for it? Have you…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 14, 2009 at 6:00pm —
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If you haven’t gone out to dinner or lunch yet for Savor Sarasota’s Restaurant Week, you’ve been missing out! I had a fabulous three course lunch at Derek’s for only $15. I started my lunch with spicy Roasted Chicken Soup with hominy and lime in a smoked chili broth. That course was followed by the freshest mussels I have ever tasted in my life—no fishy taste here! The mussels were cooked in a sauce of garlic, shallots, tomatoes, white wine, herb butter and topped with fries –yum! I couldn’t…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 8, 2009 at 9:30pm —
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When I say keep your eye on the prize, the prize is a loving and cherishing relationship. Once you are in a committed relationship, it is important to view that relationship as something valuable and to be mindful of doing whatever you need to do to maintain its value. No matter what is happening between you, remember that your ultimate goal is to have a happy relationship and act accordingly.
If you are arguing, remember that what you want in the long run is to be happy together. Is…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 7, 2009 at 10:00am —
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Savor Sarasota Restaurant Week (actually 2 weeks) started yesterday, and I was not going to miss out in spite of all the boxes left to unpack in my new home. Actually, I can’t think of a better reason to dine out, except maybe the phenomenal restaurant deals offered during Savor Sarasota. My entry into the week was intended to begin al fresco at Libby’s where the beautiful evening could be savored as well. What a disappointment it was when my friend called to say Libby’s was closed. Already on…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on June 2, 2009 at 4:30pm —
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I woke up at 4 a.m. laden with thoughts of all the tasks still to be tackled before I complete my move to a new home tomorrow. Instead of futilely wrestling to go back to sleep, I decide that the only smart thing to do is to get up and start packing. Yet, over a cup of middle-of-the night coffee, I remember the thing that’s really been weighing on my mind all week; I haven’t had time to read the menus for Savor SarasotaRestaurant Week! It’s time I got my priorities straight! I couldn’t bear for…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on May 30, 2009 at 7:00am —
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This week’s relationship tip is to eliminate the word “should” from your vocabulary. Anytime you use the word “should,” it is trespassing on another person’s territory. When you tell a person what they “should” do, you immediately put yourself in the one up position where you are looking down on the other person.
If I tell a person what they should do, it becomes the “world according to Amy.” I am then in a position to look down on them, and I end up making the other person feel…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on May 21, 2009 at 9:02pm —
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The culmination of the Forks and Corks Festival with a Grand Tasting made for a grand finale. The majestic setting of the Ringling Museum courtyard created a beautiful backdrop for this very special tasting event. While the weather did not cooperate with Friday night’s Cirque Culinaire, the sun shone brightly on what may be the best Sunday afternoon of the year. In spite of the heat, 785 food and wine lovers fervently sampled delicacies from the…
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Added by Amy Warren, LMHC / WQ Mag Columnist on May 21, 2009 at 7:30am —
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